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Every time without fail, a week before I either fly to New Zealand, or James flies here, I get horribly upset, lonely and just generally miserable. I don’t know why: probably my hormones, could be my subconcious, but I get so upset that I feel almost bipolar. I am quite literally, one minute happy, the next sad.

This time, it’s because for some stupid reason, I think that James is getting bored of me, and the silly idea that we don’t talk enough or even spend time together enough. I know its not true on both accounts, but theres something that keeps telling me this. I hate it, because I’m making James feel terrible, and making myself feel worse because I am continuously making him feel terrible! *sighs*

Still, in the end, I end up crying myself to sleep because of god-kn0ws-what, waking up feeling like shit, and making anybody I so have to speak to either hate me or equally as grumpy as I am.

As you can probably tell, I don’t like being away from James. He’s my everything. Sure, it might sound a little silly: i’m sixteen, he’s my first everything - but i’m his first everything. We like it like that. It’s hard though, the long distance thing. Very hard. I think I get even lonelier each time he has to leave. It almost breaks my heart.

Meh, thats enough whinging. *goes and hides in a corner for the next week*

Sewwy..?

My name is Sarah, also known as Sewwy, and I'm 20 years old. I'm studying a BSci, majoring in Biology, at the University of Auckland. I'm full of useless science facts. I also have a love for photography, aided by my weapon of mass distraction, my NikonD40x. This is my blog where I express my mind and ideas.

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4 Comments so far

http://www.fallapart.org/ <—- thats erin ;)

Aww, don’t feed the Sewwy-Monster, eh? : ) Don’t worry, wha t you’re going through is completely normal- for total weirdos, anyway. The first everything is fantastic, and really I don’t think for most of us there’s ever a next time for an everything. If you really get a first one, there won’t be a second. Gah, that’s depressing isn’t it? *duck*

Don’t make James feel terrible, just demand that he make you feel better and say ‘heck no I don’t know how you’re supposed to accomplish that! and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you because then it would void it of its absolute value!’ : )

Oh hun, I so get what you mean… I know it’s not exactly like actually living so far apart but furing my exams I get upset too because I don’t get to see my BF as much as I’d like to…

But the trick is to stop worrying and to “enjoy” the feeling of missing him, because you know all too well how wonderful and extatic the both of you will be as soon as you meet again. Few couples succeed in keeping that feeling a relationship; the feeling of constant delirious happiness when you’re around each other. I think James and you appreciate each other far more than many other couples.

Sweety, take the negative feeling and convert it to a mega-positive one… Feel the love! *hippy* :D

If you ever feel down you could try and keep yourself busy. Bury yourself in work or a project to take your mind of your love worries. *hmm*

Or you can start talking to yourself. That way you’re NEVER lonely…. *hyper*

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