I’m not dead..

I’m just hiding from the cops in New Zealand!

Nah, just kidding. Visiting James until Saturday, so I will blog when we return to Sydney. Dog tired, going to sleep now. :) Night everyone

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Every time without fail, a week before I either fly to New Zealand, or James flies here, I get horribly upset, lonely and just generally miserable. I don’t know why: probably my hormones, could be my subconcious, but I get so upset that I feel almost bipolar. I am quite literally, one minute happy, the next sad.

This time, it’s because for some stupid reason, I think that James is getting bored of me, and the silly idea that we don’t talk enough or even spend time together enough. I know its not true on both accounts, but theres something that keeps telling me this. I hate it, because I’m making James feel terrible, and making myself feel worse because I am continuously making him feel terrible! *sighs*

Still, in the end, I end up crying myself to sleep because of god-kn0ws-what, waking up feeling like shit, and making anybody I so have to speak to either hate me or equally as grumpy as I am.

As you can probably tell, I don’t like being away from James. He’s my everything. Sure, it might sound a little silly: i’m sixteen, he’s my first everything - but i’m his first everything. We like it like that. It’s hard though, the long distance thing. Very hard. I think I get even lonelier each time he has to leave. It almost breaks my heart.

Meh, thats enough whinging. *goes and hides in a corner for the next week*

Email me here for the password. Protected incase someone at school finds it. All hell would break lose. :o